So what’s in a name? You’ll have to ask Mr Phani Tikkala.

Posts on this blog seem to have taken a saucy turn of late. So why stop now?

There was much hilarity in the office when an email dropped with this belter, below:

Phani Tikkala

Thanks to Gordon Tait at the Scottish Sun for that one.

His email couldn’t have been better timed. Not 24 hours earlier we’d been chewing over some of the marvellous monikers we’ve come across among the PR fraternity – though nothing up there with Mr Tikkala, admittedly.

A recent one to catch my eye was G. Stepo – not the jackbooted secret police, but Gail Stepo, a popular communications officer with Fife Council.  I can only presume that was an accident of marriage and not a parenting blunder.

Then there’s Gussy Alamein at the Church of Scotland. A few of us in the office cooked up a picture of the exotically and alluringly named Ms Alamein as a long-lashed seductress rescued by the Kirk. Some kind of latter day Salome who found redemption through worship. Naw. I later found out Gussy is actually a deeply-voiced bloke with a positively military bearing.

Juvenile colleagues (all r ght, me) snigger and elbow each other whenever the name Charity Dyke comes up. Sounds like some kind of burlesque act with sapphic specialities. In reality the perfectly nice (and I’m sure squeaky clean) press officer with Lothian and Borders fire brigade.

A personal favourite has always been Balthasar Fabricius – affectionately known as Balth – who was at Ladbrokes press office last time I paid attention. Nothing suggestive about his name – but it would make an outstanding triple word score in Scrabble. Our own fabulously named Big Galoot actually met Balth on a golf outing and said he was a top bloke.

Likewise, Galootski also came into contact with Warren Lush – nothing to do with battling Alkies, but another Ladbrokes press officer who has more recently turned up at and was trotted out as ITV’s “betting expert” at the recent Grand Slam of Darts. Top viewing according to the Galoot.

Finally for today recognition (sympathy?) is due to the Scotsman’s Mhairi Ince (the advertising contact for the Herald & Post series). Nothing funny in that you might think? Except her email address – I’m sure she’s fed up of the jokes.

NOTE – with apologies to everyone named here for the entirely juvenile nature of the content. No offence intended. However, if you know any others, I’d be delighted to hear them!


44 thoughts on “So what’s in a name? You’ll have to ask Mr Phani Tikkala.

  1. When I first started out in Quantity Surveying in the 70’s, I came across a ‘Mr. P.J. Grub’ who was the Timber Infestations Manager for Rentokil in Leeds.

  2. My mum thought she had come up with a loevly name for my brother Jack Daley 23 years ago until one day he mantioned all the kids teased him at school for being a w*nker…jack(s off)daily…

  3. Kamil Fuker used to work for the same company as me. He left unfortunately, but with such a unique name it is not hard to find him on Google!

  4. Pingback: Worse Than Yours - and all the funnier for it (Phani Tikkala Part 2) « Black and White and Read All Over

  5. For the book I’m doing on Grant Morrison, I had to do an interview with one of his editors, a guy called Pornsak (apparently it means ‘beautiful blessed one’ and it may well do, but I can’t see it taking off in Sighthill or Easterhouse any time soon) and while I managed to stop the chuckles after about 15 times of saying his name, the rest of the bloody newsroom kept cracking up right until the end, which made it nigh on impossible to keep a straight face or tone of voice for the chat.

  6. It was indeed an accident of marriage and not of birth. Being a Czech surname it is pronounced Shtyepo because of funny little upside down Us over the S and E. However, it has caused much hilarity with colleagues in various jobs as PC usernmae is gstepo. I’m not saying that I’ve never been seen in jackboots but lets just leave that. I do believe I am possibly the only Gail Stepo in existance.

  7. I am 52 and a half and still sniggering at Ophelia Dyck who went to school with a friend…. Hon Richard Face MP was obviously named by innocent parents and Phuc Yu should never have emigrated..then of course there is Phil McGroin….and….

  8. Pingback: I give you the worst named couple in Scotland (Phani Tikkalah, eat your heart out) « Black and White and Read All Over

  9. Where do I start…I work in finance and my surname is Fidler. I also know a chap called Andrew Dodge and Simon Conn…

    I also used to work in a company, with a lady called Katherine Hunt, who genuinely signed her name K. Hunt.

    I met a German girl in a bar called Ulrika Fuchs, she was entertaining. Tomorrow I’m off to meet a lady called Tiffany Panter.

    A few years ago, I met a girl on holiday in Greece called Luki…never found out her surname was.

    Yuo couldn’t make it up.

  10. We have a physiotherapy worker at our local hospital called Sital Jakkhu. I’ve often wondered why the patients come out with smiles on their faces….now I understand!!!

  11. Mr Pornsak sounds Thai to me; and with some knowledge of the place I would submit that a much more amusing candidate for ‘beautiful blessed one’ would be my wife’s colleague, Ms Titiporn.

    Whilst on all things Oriental… A female friend who was teaching in Hong Kong some years ago swears she had to leave a bank in tears because the teller, one Ms Chu Mai, had decided to simplify things for customers by taking a western first name. Unfortunately for her, the first name comes last, and clearly without consultation she had gone for Fanny! Lo, Chu Mai Fanny….

  12. I can’t remember what show it was, but in the credits there was a Yulik Wang. Made me chuckle

    I’ve also known a lady called Gaye who unfortunately married a Mr Pratt LOL

  13. Work for large international companies and you realise how names don’t cross borders well. Favourites over the years were:

    Holger Knoblich, Julie Wank & Eugenia Crumbling
    Also a Mr. Mycock whose job title was ‘Small Parts Controller’

    So apt.

  14. Years ago some friends were in India. They got talking to an Indian couple while on a short boat journey, and were introduced to their teenage daughter, the delectable Pritti Dickshit. Or at least that was how they heard it.

  15. Another one from the local council, Ann Densumbe.

    One from a different council, Churnet Valley’s councillor Barrie Mycock. Or to use one of his other first names, Ramon Mycock! An archived version of his original council webpage is here.

  16. A friend of mine is a teaching assistant at a local school. She helps out in the class of a Mrs Curtain – Anette Curtain. I promise!

  17. One of the senior medical staff at Ayrshire and Arran Health Board is called Maida Smellie but she insists her surname is pronounced ‘Smillie’

  18. Pingback: Aussie sub is big down under - with his genital related headline « Black and White and Read All Over

  19. My niece married a bloke in whose family it is tradition that the eldest son is always named after the eldest uncle. In this case the uncle named John was on the mother’s side of the family. Nothing strange in that except junior’s surname happens to be Thomas!

  20. Post Script. The parents of John Thomas said they had considered renaming their son … to ‘Richard Cranium!’

  21. How about this guy who I used to be the marketing guy at one of the companies I was selling to – Fokke Kracht. First conversation I had with him he insisted on me getting the prenunciation absolutely correct. “It’s Fucker Cracked” were his words “and please call me by my first name”. Used to cause my colleagues great mirth when hearing me say Good Morning Fokke on the phone….

  22. Pingback: Unfortunate Byline – Additional Reporting by Anil Bhoyrul and Phani Tikkala? « Black and White and Read All Over

  23. Yesterday, while I was at work, my sister stole my iPad
    and tested to see if it can survive a 40 foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation.
    My apple ipad is now destroyed and she has 83 views.
    I know this is totally off topic but I had to share
    it with someone!

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