The new Prime Minister of Showbiz is also the King of Bongo

King Of BongoKing of BongoThere are any number of good reasons to post about Gordon Smart, newly appointed editor of The Sun’s Bizarre column.

But the very best one is that it brings hundres of hits to my blog. He’s a popular lad is Smarty and last time I posted about him my hit counter went into meltdown.

His new regime at Bizarre started on Monday with much fanfare – including a front page puff which announced: “He’s Scottish. He’s called Gordon. He’s the Prime Minister of Showbiz!”

The similarities don’t end there. The pair of them have both been involved in moving love stories centred round wee Fife fitba teams.

Gordon Brown has never been shy talking about his first true love – Raith Rovers. Meanwhile Gordon Smart went a step further, by pulling the gorgeous daughter of Dunfermline FC legend Jim Leishman, whom he married a couple of years ago. (For those of us who watched and loved the Carla Lane comedy series Bread in the late 80s and early 90s, Goags’ father-in-law, Big Leish is the spitting image of Freddie Boswell).

Apart from Kate, the other big love in the life of Gordon (Smart, not Brown) is bongo. One handed reading material. Whatever you like to call it, Gordon has a lifelong passion for adult magazines videos. So impressive is his appetite that he turned up for his interview with Deadline Press and Picture Agency reading a copy of Razzle. Though at least he had the good sense to fold it inside a copy of The Times.

By far the best bongo-related story Goags ever told me was the day he learnt his own collection had been eclipsed by that of his brother. Gordon was brimming with family pride when he announced that his younger sibling had reached an amazing landmark – he’d amassed his own height in porn. Phew. Whatever way you look at it that is an amazing feat of endurance.

Looking at Gordon’s photo in the Currant Bun on Monday, it was plain to see that he is a cool guy. He can wear a really smart suit and tie combo on the top half, with plimsolls and jeans (with a natty wee pocked on the knee!) and still manage to look a bit of a dude. I used to give him jive about having a haircut like a coconut, but truth is he’s always had a cool ‘do. And as many a lady will attest, he’s a good looking boy.

Add to that a beautiful wife and the best line in patter and charm I’ve ever witnessed and I used to regularly find myself wondering why Goags needed bongo at all?

The answer is simple. He doesn’t need it. He just really, really likes it. So never mind the new Prime Minister of Showbiz. All hail the new King of Bongo!

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One thought on “The new Prime Minister of Showbiz is also the King of Bongo

  1. I still fondly recall Gordon’s interview for Deadline – particularly since, having known him through three hectic and barely sober years at Napier University, it was on my recommendation that we interviewed him. Everything was going swimmingly well with Gordon on good form and showing himself to be charm personified. Then about half way through, where most interviewees might look to whip out their portfolio, Gordon decides to share with us his reading material for his train journey north from London – the aforementioned copy of Razzle expertly hidden inside the Times. I thought at that point it was over, but thankfully this only served to cement his appointement and begin his successful 18 month tenure at Deadlline.

    It does, however, remind me of yet another tremendous bongo-related tale from our university days. While staying in a flat with Gordon I noticed he always seemed to carry a purple rucksack with him whenever he was going to visit his parents back in sunny Kinross. When challenged about this puzzling behaviour Gordon coughed that his elder brother – of same height in porn fame – still kept his entire collection at his folks’ house and Gordon returned periodically to keep his mini-collection fresh. Thus began the legend of Goags’ bulging purple sack………….

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