Lunch with the Paris Hilton lookalike who asked me to care for her Flaps.

Today I had lunch with a very tall, attractive, blonde woman who once asked me to take very, very good care of her Flaps.

Quivering and furry, it was a job that required every ounce of the tender loving care you’d expect.

Why anyone would want to call a pet rabbit Flaps is still beyond me. But then that’s Jade Beecroft for you – always a wee bit unorthodox.

When she joined us at Deadline Press and Picture Agency from the Sheffield Star she brought a much-needed touch of glamour to the operation. Since she bore a passing resemblance to Paris Hotel Heirhead, we quickly nicknamed her Sheffield Hilton.

She also brought a great sense of humour, a wicked line in put downs, a mean ability to roll a cigarette. Oh – and her rabbit, Flaps.

Apparently there was a strict “No Pets” clause in the contract for her rented flat. Which meant that every couple of months, when it came to landlord inspection time, Flaps had to be tempted into her cage and transported to spend the day in our office.

As well as being a right good news hand, Jade turned out to be a top operator when it came to spotting and writing features for magazines like Chat, Bella and Take A Break. So when she handed in her notice to move to London we were gutted.

I still remember the tear in my eye as I penned the most glowing job reference I’ve ever written. Today Jade informed us that all the staff in the London office where she worked were also treated to an occasional glimpse of Flaps. Turns out Jade had the same landlord issues in London as she’d endured in Edinburgh.

Again though, Jade landed lucky, with another boss who wasn’t averse to providing a bunny haven (Isn’t that a whisky?). As Jade tells it, her boss in London was a colourful (read mad) Polish woman who made all kinds of squawking nosies as she chased the rabbit round the locked boardroom announcing to Jade: “I love your leetle Flaps. Let me kees your beautiful Flaps”.

Quite a picture.

That job, as editor of the BUPA magazine, helped land Jade the position she was really after – health correspondent on the Derby Evening Telegraph (Cue the bad Oscar acceptance/footballer’s transfer speech: “My whole life I’ve wanted nothing more than to be the health reporter on the Derby Evening Telegraph!”).

She’s enjoying a great run of stories at the paper, including regular splashes and no doubt is roundly feared by the penpushers who run the two local Primary Care Trusts. She’s also met herself a very nice young chap who I met over lunch. Neil is a civil servant (didn’t I feel daft when I stupidly asked the 25-year-old, “So are you a lifelong civil servant”. Understandably the look he gave me was more pitying than withering).

He’s also a very lucky lad. When the civil service relocated him from London to Sheffield (to ensure European grants are properly distributed and used) they paid him a handsome relocation fee. Then when his home was flooded a few months back (ok, that’s not so lucky) he landed on his feet when the insurance company agreed to replace everything and also put him up (until next April) in a huge, luxury city centre apartment. And now he’s landed Jade as well. Jammy sod.

The happy couple are spending a week in Edinburgh courtesy of the good people at VisitScotland – and hopefully Jade will be writing all sorts of lovely things about the city.

Their trip also includes one night at the fabulous boutique hotel Tigerlily (aye, our client), as well as a night dining at another of our clients, the bar-restaurant rick’s (sic).

Thankfully, I had the foresight to phone ahead and make sure there’s no rabbit on the menu. However, I baulked at advising Jade to keep her Flaps out of sight.

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4 thoughts on “Lunch with the Paris Hilton lookalike who asked me to care for her Flaps.

  1. Ever the gentleman Scott – I am delighted to see that you have now plastered my flaps all over the internet!

    Thank you for a lovely lunch last week – I think it was high time Raymond got to sit next to me for a couple of hours after months of stalking!

    The Visit Scotland team did a wonderful job for us last week, ensuring that we had a fantastic break in Edinburgh. You mentioned that we stayed in Tiger Lilly and ate in Ricks, so just to say that both were absolutely fantastic. Ricks in particular treated us very nicely and they had a great choice of veggie food too!

  2. Cheers for the kind words Scott, I am indeed a lucky boy.

    I feel I ought to point out that I don’t regard working in the Civil Service as lucky though, quite the opposite. I’d much rather be doing something more creative, we’ll see what the future brings though.

    Also, I think I poked you on Facebook – if you’re the Scott Douglas who looks very young on their profile picture…

    Best wishes – and thanks again to you and Raymond for Lunch,

    Nei

  3. Scott

    We have never met but it is interesting to note that you (alongside a certain Neil M) have been thoroughly taken in by the well known dislecsik journo known as Jade Beecroft.

    The sooner my free-loading daughter gets a proper job and spends less of her time galavanting around Northern england the better.

    I would also like to place an objection to the continued references to my daughters flaps-this internet thingy is getting out of hand.

    A concerned parent

  4. Thanks pops!

    The sooner my balding and middle-aged father gets a job (full stop) and spends less of his time galavanting around Thailand the better.

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