Alternative events for Glasgow 2014 Commonwealth Games

I see that some wags have already celebrated Glasgow’s success in winning the right to host the  2014 Commonwealth Games by coming up with alternative events that would be well-sutied to Scotland’s second city. I’ll be more than happy to hear other suggestions:

600 metre shoplift

Hammer throwing

Giro Cashing.

Coin throwing
3 day Window panning
Midgie Raking relay
The Offended Marathon


100 metre dash (to attack the goalkeeper)
Diving (from the second tier when things are looking bleak)
Lighter throwing
Scuba Diving (with Frank Macavennie)
World Record attempt for disgruntled people in a car park
Hit the director with the Mars Bar

200m sprint to chain yourself to the goals

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