Kerry Katona replaces James Blunt as most annoying person

Dairy drink makers Lactofree ar looking to create an annual media fixture with their list of the 100 things which the British public find most annoying.

This has all the hallmarks of being dreamt up by their PR company, Biss Lancaster (one of the big boys) and got good coverage last year when poor old James Blunt came in as the most annoying person on the planet.

Which is a bit harsh. Even though his album got played to death and Noel Gallagher wanted to play football with his head, the guy seems all right for a posh lad. Does a power of shagging and generally lives it large. Fair play.

This year the British public have ruled that Blunty is less annoying than noisy neighbours, but more annoying than diarrhoea. Oh dear.

However, glad to see the great unwashed got it right on one count – by finally losing patience with oxygen thief extraordinaire Kerry Katona. A woman with no redeeming features. When she married the pie-eater from Westlife their subsequent soap opera of a lifestyle drained me of the will to live.

So here it is in full – the list of the 100 most annoying things. Enjoy:

1. Cold Callers
2. Tailgaters
3. Queue jumpers
4. Slow internet connections
5. Drivers who sit in the outside lane doing 50mph
6. People reading over your shoulder
7. Stepping in dog poo
8. Kerry Katona
9. Brownnosers
10. Dog owners who don’t clean up after their dog
11. Jehovah’s witnesses
12. People who complain how fat they are when they’re so obviously skinny
13. Being bloated
14. Automated phone systems
15. Chavs
16. Able-bodied people who park in disabled bays
17. Noisy eaters
18. Middle lane drivers on the motorway
19. The smoking ban
20. Noisy neighbours
21. Junk mail
22. Someone nicking your parking spot
23. Bossiness
24. Debt consolidation
25. Snobs
26. Screaming kids
27. Rude shop assistants
28. People who have their mobile turned off when you really need to get hold of them
29. James Blunt
30. Hangovers
31. Novelty ringtones
32. Jade Goody
33. Late buses
34. Wasps
35. Royal Mail
36. Diarrhoea
37. Reformed smokers
38. People talking on their mobiles on public transport
39. Mosquitoes
40. Email spam
41. Headaches
42. Children who cough in your face
43. Charlie from Big Brother six
44. Traffic wardens
45. Spots
46. Public displays of affection
47. CDs that jump
48. Carol Vorderman
49. Americans
50. The hot water running out when you are running a bath
51. Stepping in chewing gum
52. Cashiers giving you change on top of a receipt
53. Russell Brand
54. Victoria Beckham
55. Mother-in-Laws
56. John McCririck
57. Trying to find the end of the Sellotape
58. Heather Mills McCartney
59. Running out of toilet roll
60. Being put on hold
61. Small yapping dogs
62. People ramming your heels with trolleys
63. Paris Hilton
64. Bottled water – why not just drink from the tap?
65. Bad hair days
66. Stubbing your toe
67. Pete Doherty
68. People pushing prams in a shop
69. Losing your glasses
70. Getting something in your eye
71. Anne Robinson
72. Stomach ache
73. Socialists
74. Power cuts
75. People who write ‘text back’ in texts
76. Not having change when you really need it
77. Lindsay Lohan
78. Leaving your mobile at home
79. Jim Davidson
80. Embarrassing farts
81. Being hungry
82. Amy Winehouse
83. Scientology
84. Rubbish opening times at the doctors and dentists
85. Motorcyclists weaving in and out of traffic
86. Losing your passport
87. Keira Knightley
88. Flatmates who use all the milk
89. Crazy frog
90. Coldsores
91. Cat hair that sticks to your clothes
92. Britney Spears
93. Breaking a nail
94. Blokes in flip flops
95. Abi Titmuss
96. Ulrika Jonsson
97. Sunburn
98. Secret workers before exams
99. Running out of petrol
100. Roadworks

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One thought on “Kerry Katona replaces James Blunt as most annoying person

  1. It’s no secret that people annoy one another eventually if they spend enough time together. Most of us can look past those little annoyances, though, and move on to something else.

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