Carlsberg don’t do PR companies, but if they did…

Picture the scene. You’re a handsome, trendy 20-something bloke with a peach of a job in one of London’s most talked about PR companies.

You work in a smart, fun office and represent lots of funky and blue chip clients. Life doesn’t really get much better. You’re the king of the world.

Did I mention, the office receptionist is a total babe? And by the way, the account execs are all babes, the account mangers are babes, the account directors are babes. Oh - and the founder of the company is - yes you’ve guessed it - a bit of a babe.

In fact everybody else in the office is more than presentable. And female. In fact you’re the only bloke and you’re outnumbered 21 to 1. Sounds like a Carlsberg/Lynx advert.

In fact, judging by this picture it seems to be the reality for one young bloke at hotly tipped London agency, Luchford APM (click on the pic to see a larger file).

The agency features in the newly published Top 150 PR Consultancies in the UK - compiled and published by industry bible, PR Week. Luchford appears at number 76, with fee earnings of £2.4m in 2007. In other words, it’s really going places.

I don’t really know what this says about either Luchford or their clients. I’d be a bit perturbed about working for (or with) a firm almost exclusively populated by attractive, white, 20-something, middle-class women. Representative of society/the media it aint.

What it does say is that PR firms in Scotland and PR firms in London seem to be very different beasts. I’ve never worked in the Smoke and I’m sure Luchford and all the other agencies which are jam-packed full of shiny and attractive young women do a sterling job. But I’m not sure they’d survive in Scotland - despite the amazing novelty factor.

So all the more reason that congratulations is due to the BIG Partnership which has flown the flag proudly for Scotland with it showing in the Top 150. It is the biggest agency outside of London (number 32 in the list with annual fee income just shy of £6.5m), and one of only six non-London agencies in the top 50. It is also number 6 in the list of best performing independents

Just two other Scottish firms make it into the top 150 list - Glasgow outfit 3X1 and Edinburgh’s Pagoda PR (both also due congratulations for their inclusion). I’m pretty sure that if you looked at the staff in all three of those firms you’d find a pretty representative sample of Scottish society and not a tartan Luchford.

The fact only three Scottish firms are inluded makes it sound as though Scotland is a PR desert. Yet there are dozens of well-thought of practitoners delivering excellent results in small and medium-sized agencies across Scotland.

Of courste the top 150 list is based on financial performance - if you aren’t generating fees of £600,000 per year, then you’re not getting in.

However, even by that yardstick, I suspect there are a few Scottish agencies that should have merited a mention.

For instance, where is the granddaddy of Scottish PR, Beattie Communications? And what about recent stellar performers Dada, whose exponential growth seems to defy normal business models?

I know why the Top 150 list isn’t much talked about in Scotland - because while it is interesting it is so incredibly London-centric as to make it broadly irrelevant.

What I’d find really meaningful is an accurate guide to the Scottish PR scene. Or failing that, a job with Luchford. 

Actually, just the job with Luchford.

Here’s a Morse mystery I’d like to see cleared up asap

Whrere is Colin Dexter when you need him?

I’m perplexed by the twists and turns of a baffling whodunnit set in Oxbridge and involving a central character called Morse.

The plot, in brief, is this: a much-loved characted has been ruthlessly offed, causing much grief-stricken wailing and gnashing of teeth.

The most likely suspect is known for being scheming, aloof,  unapproachable and motivated almost solely by money. In other words, the polar opposite of the popular and highly thought off victim.

Yet all may not be as it seems. Indeed, scratch the surface and it would appear the victim may have made enemies with cause to celebrate his demise. As the mystery deepens who knows what other skeletons may fall out of closets?

I am of course referring to the departure of Murray Morse from the Cambridge Evening News. Many in the Scottish media know him from his time at the Edinburgh Evening News and the Daily Record, two stop offs on a career which has taken him to virtually every corner of the UK.

Whenever I worked with Muzza he was the type that polarised opinion (for the record, I thoroughly enjoyed being part of his team). Yet he seems to have united feeling - at least in the newsroom - at Cambridge where the staff loved him.

All of which contributes the mystery surrounding exactly what has befallen Murray. All appearance suggest he has been clincially dispatched from a job he loved and where he brought considerable success.

Consensus (again, among the newsroom staff) is that he was killed off by the management. When Muzza’s initial departure was announced by Hold The Front Page, it prompted a chain of comments from gutted staff, who applauded him all the way out of the building. You can read the full list of comments here.

Yet, heartfelt as those messages may be , they offer no real answers or inisght into what has gone on. Indeed, they serve only to confirm that no-one saw this coming. A real mystery, indeed.

Meanwhile, the supportive messages are peppered with gripes from at least one disgruntled reader, claiming many have been unimpressed by Morse’s robust editorial style. They’ve even gone so far as to claim he had it in for minority groups, echoing previous disapproval over his paper’s stance of travelling people. Clues to a possible hidden agenda, perhaps - or simply a red herring?

Then there’s the contradictory messages from the man himself. Only last Friday he was approached by HTFP and expressed astonishment that there could or shoud be any speculation about his future. A short time later he exited the buidling with what amounted to an honour guard of tearful newsroom staff applauding him all the way.

Following the amazing emotional scenes surrounding Muzza’s departure (I’ve certainly never heard of scenes like that before) the situation has shown no signs of calming. Indeed, it has reached even more jawdropping levels - with newsroom staff supporting a vote of no confidence in the management, who they blame for assassinating their beloved leader.

Now comes a fresh report from jounalistic bible, the UK Press Gazette, which has managed an interview with the man himself. Those following the saga and hopiong for an insight into what has really happened, will be disappointed.

But the unexpected plot twists continue. When Muzza got his chance to speak out he insisted to the UKPG that he left by mutual consent because the job held no more challenges for him (read the full UKPG article here). Ahem. Aye right.

The Muzza I knew was never one for management double speak. So, I can only guess he has been made the subject of some sort of gagging agreement. Fair play, as well as being an excellent boss and newspaper man, he is a doting father of two - and his thoughts now will be on doing the right thing for his family.

So we’ve gone from sudden and highly unexpected departure, through highly-charged emotional scenes to total information vacuum in the space of a few days.

I genuinely hope this potboiler of a mystery is solved soon. Otherwise it is inevitable that the rumour mill will begin to grind - and if that happens I just hope it’s not unfavourable for my old mucker Muzza.

At least Murray Morse left with staff applause ringing in his ears …

I’ve lost touch with my old mate Murray Morse in recent years. However, we’ve got more than a few mutual friends who keep me abreast of how he he’s been getting on. (the pics dates from when he granted me the honour of being godfather to his son - a role, which, I have been truly awful in).

It seemed that  in Cambridge he’d finally landed the perfect job - an editor’s chair at a forward-thinking evening newspaper. Certainly most of the recent reports I’d heard about his time there were glowing.

Then on Friday the jungle drums started beating with the surprising news that Murray had departed, suddenly and unexpectedly. Which led me to the site dedicated to the UK’s regional newspapers, Hold The Front Page, where there was a report confirming his exit from the paper. Read the full article here.

However, what really caught my eye was the comment posted by one of his former staff, which speaks volumes:

As now a former colleague of Murray Morse. I wish to make public how the majority of the editorial department of the Cambridge Evening News feels. Morale in the office was good, with departments finally getting replacements for positions that had been vacant for months. Then they do this to us! Murray was put into a position where he felt he had no choice, who would be happy to have someone bought in above them…another management role! There was complete shock at the news that Murray was to leave, the staff stood and applauded Mr Morse when he came into the newsroom after we had been told. Some staff were so overcome that they just cried, others were angry, ALL of us were quite simply Gutted. Murray was an Editor that supported his staff and as seen from the Awards we have collected in recent times we gave him our best. He will be sadly missed, As for sales falling, well name us a regional paper that hasn’t shown a sales drop, maybe if our new Sunrise edition was in the shops at Sunrise and not Lunchtimes sales may even improve!!! Murray said a few words before he left, then in a scene I’ve never before witnessed when he walked from the building we all went with him and applauded him all the way to his car. MM will be a hard act to follow, We just wish he hadn’t had to leave!!

Flamin’ norah! You couldn’t get a more heartening kiss off from your staff. Now, I’m not naive enough to think that everyone in the newsroom held the same devotion for Mr Morse - but  for even a single staff to feel this strongly is amazing.

And to be applauded out of the building? I can’t say I’ve ever heard anything like it. Clearly Double M had made quite an impression.

I had the good fortune to work with Muzza twice and he’s not always been appreciated as well as he might - so I’m pleased to see that those who worked with him in Cambridge saw the guy I loved working with: full of ideas, energy, passion for news.

His love of newspapers is inarguable - which makes hime the only person I know to have been a news editor at major newspapers in Scotland, England, Northern Ireland and Wales.

I  hope he lands on his feet with his next venture -and will post if I hear any more.

PS - Murray’s rant against do-gooders who opposed his newspaper’s campaign to prevent illegal gypsy camps can be found here and is one of the funniest things I’ve ever read.

Scottish Press Awards prove a major success - but where’s the recogntion for freelances?

Congratulations to al the winners from last night’s Scottish Press Awards. Those honoured on the night included Joan Burnie, the grand dame of the Daily Record, who collected a heartily deserved Lifetime Achievement award.

Also, big thanks to Anna Steven from the BT press office, who invited our own Lauren Crooks to join the BT table at newspaper land’s biggest bunfight. Lauren is bleary eyed today, but had a fantastic time. By all accounts, most of Scottish journalism had a racuous and thoroughly enjoyable night out.

Lauren was the only Deadline Press & Picture Agency representative at the do, because there aren’t any categories which cater for reporting or photographic staff with press agencies. Which is a real shame, considering the vital role they play in the news chain.

However, there IS an award ceemony specifically for news agencies, which has been running for just a few short years but is gaining in credibility and popularity. The event is run by the National Association of Press Agencies (NAPA) and took place last weekend in London.

Two Deadline stalwarts attended - Brian Lewis and Doug Walker - and were delighted to be nominated in the main category, News Story of the Year.

The nomination was for an exclusive sold to the Scottish Daily Mail. It revelead that a former home of Peter Tobin - the man who murdered Angelika Kluk - was being systematically taken apart by forensic experts looking for clues into the 15-year-old mystery surrounding the disappearing of West Lothian schoolgirl, Vicky Hamilton.

A few short months later that led experts to another house formerly occupied by Tobin (this time in the South of England), where the bodies of two young women were uncovered. One set of remains were confirmed as Vicky’s and her family were finally able to lay here to rest. Tobin is now awaiting trial for murder.

You can read the full Daily Mail article here (in pdf format). It earned Deadline a second place - with the overall award going to Splash News, who tracked down Anne Darwin, the wife of “missing” canoeist John Darwin (see the resulting Mirror splash, here), who was actually hiding out in Panama.

You can’t really argue with that - given the quite astonishing amount of global coverage the Darwin story generated. A proper, good, old-fashioned marmalade dropper.

Everybody involved in the running of NAPA has been delighted with the success of this year’s events. These are tough times for news agencies, but there were more entries than ever before and the standard wowwed the judges.

Here is a Media Guardian report on the awards, which, rather inevitably, have now become known as the NAPAs. Let’s hope next year’s will be even bigger and better, with more freelances and agencies joining the organisation.

PR guru Barbara Clark joins the hot 100 - and gives Johnny Depp the perfect reason to Visit Scotland

Congratulations to media legend Barbara Clark, Head of Comms at VisitScotland.

She has just achieved official PR Guru status, according to the industry bible, PRWeek.

The magazine’s latest PowerBook  is a list of 100 people considered the most admirable movers and shakers in the UK PR and communications sector. Quite an accolade.

There aren’t too many Scots in the list, so Barbara can be extremely proud to have merited a place among such hallowed company. Though no doubt she’ll be shrugging it off in her usual modest fashion.

I most recently caught up with La Clark at the Scottish CIPR awards in Glasgow, where her VisitScotland team bagged armfuls of awards (including Scottish Public Sector Team of the Year).

There’s never a dull moment in her company and she was in particularly fine fettle that night. Despite having dozens of staff to see home safely - as well as enough silverware to fill several trophy cabinets - she still managed to find room on the bus for the bedraggled party from Holyrood PR.

Our bus back to Edinburgh never showed up and we were milling around in the centre of Glasgow in the wee small hours wondering how we were going to get along the M8 - when Babs appeared and ordered us onto her coach.

As bus journeys go it was no quiet, early morning roadtrip. Indeed, even at that time of the morning, with hangovers starting to kick in and everyone yearning for bed, Barbara is a social hurricane - as anyone who’s been lucky enough to bask in her bonhomie will testify.

Johnny Depp features a lot in Barbara’s full PowerBook entry, which you can read in full here (in pdf format), if you haven’t already seen it.

When I asked her how she felt about her PowerBook mention she told me: “I’m hoping it will make me more attractive and that Johnny will want to leave that thin little ‘Joe le Taxi’ bird.”

So there you go Mr Depp. Why don’t you walk away from Paradis now that you’ve got the perfect reason to VisitScotland?

Come fly with me - or at least my strangely named lookalike

Most of us have checked out our “googlegangers” - the hybried term (part Google, part doppelganger) coined for typing your own name into the world’s biggest search engine to see what it throws up.

For instance, when I type in Scott Douglas I find a man who balances a cat on his head (and writes about running), another chap who is a bit of a boffin in the world of electrical engineering and an unsual book shop owner.

I’m sure I recall doing this a few year ago and coming across a children’s entertainer/magician and a cabaret singer. However, it’s all about search engine optimisation these days and they must have slipped down the rankings.

Googling yourself is a bit of harmless fun and a shortlived, vicarious peek into the lives, interests and thoughts of people (usually north American) who share your name.

However, it pales when compared to the shock of unexpectedly stumbling upon a photograph of someone who looks so like you that your nearest and dearest find it difficult to work out if it is you or not.

Especially when that person is not on the other side of the world - but a mere 50 miles up the road.

So, thanks to Brian Lewis at Deadline Press & Picture Agency (and soon to be at the Scottish Sun) for bringing me no end of ribbing by finding this picture which accompanied a recent press release from RAF Leuchars.

Firstly, let me congratulate the RAF Leuchars team on raising £2000 for local charity, Enable, which helps people with disabilities. And for the recent prodigious output from their media office, who have been extremely busy - and I hope - garnering many column inches of positive coverage.

For those who don’t automatically see the likeness, let me say that not only was I taken aback by this image, so were my missus and my mother. It doesn’t really get any more inarguable (damning?) than that. And just to mop up any lingering doubts, I’ve even looked out this image of yours truly for comparison:

The first thing that strikes me is that it has to be a stroke of bad luck that my lookalike wears a hat straight out of Thunderbirds, along with a comedy RAF outfit complete with lapels that look as though they would probably help the wearer to take off.

Apart from that, I suppose I should be grateful that Squadron Leader Rob de Boyes is such a handsome swine. Oh - and give thanks to anybody who’ll listen that he’s not actually called Roger de Boyes.

And I though Phani Tikkalah sounded like some sort of superhero … meet the real life Batman Suparman

Never one to miss milking an opportunity to the max, I’m going to take this chance to coax a few more hits out of my old pal, Phani Tikkala.

For me, at least, his name has become synonomous with near superhero-like feats of stamina (and thousands of blog hits).

So much so that my chum Mhairi Munro thougth of me when she managed to escape the demands of baby Andrew for a few precious moments to read her email - and found this pearl in her inbox:

For those who haven’t yet received it, the email comes along with it’s own wee narrative about the Marvel-ously named (actually, for accuracy I should stress that both Superman and Batman were out of the DC Comics stable) fella from Singapore and his unfortunate brush with airport security officials:

Airport Security, Customs Official:  May I know your name?
Customer: Batman.
CO: May I know your name?
Cust: My name is Bat-man.
CO: Trying to be funny?! What is your surname?
Cust: Supar-man.
CO arrests the guy.

Stupid guy. Should have told them his name was soemthing believable, like  Hulk Wolverine.